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THE DECISION TREE

Certified Branching Logic Authority. Est. 2026. Every path leads to another path.

About the Institute

The Decision Tree exists to help you decide things, using a branching method that has technically never failed, because it has technically never finished. We take your original question extremely seriously, right up until the second branch.

The Branching Protocol

Each Yes or No is fed into the next available branch, regardless of relevance. Branches are selected using a process the Institute is not prepared to disclose, mostly because it does not exist.

The Clarity Index

The Clarity Index measures how close you are to an actual answer. It begins at a modest number and only ever goes down, which the Institute considers a sign of rigor rather than a design flaw.

On Conclusions

Conclusions Reached will always read zero. This is not a bug. The Institute does not deal in conclusions; it deals in branches, and there is always room for one more.

Standing Policy

The Tree does not remember your original question, does not accept complaints, and will happily keep branching for as long as you keep clicking. This is, the Institute maintains, a feature.